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How To Maintain A Healthy Relationship When You’re Busy As Hell

November 18, 2018

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Last weekend Mark and I went on a hike! Now, to some of you that may sound like “Okay not exciting” LOL but for us, it was major! It’s one of the ways we maintain a healthy relationship when you’re busy as hell

 

For the entire month of October, I was ALL OVA THE PLACE. Multiple cities, out of the country, traveling every week. Even to the point where I flew from Philadelphia to Portland for just 2 1/2 hours before going out of the country to Costa Rica.

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
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Could I have flown from Philadelphia to CR (Which would have saved $$ and about 6 hours of travel)? Yes. But, as a super busy #girlboss, there are things I have to do that may seem unconventional in order to make sure my home life and relationship  are a priority. Mark is a super passionate and loving Cancer, and I’m a work-a-holic Capricorn. Sometimes when I am on the go, he can feel neglected. And believe me, it took a few heated arguments for me to understand that.

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
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We really try our best to communicate our honest feelings but sometimes that can be hard to face. It was TOUGH for me to recognize that my #hustle mentality was pushing my partner away. Especially when you feel like your ambition is taking you in one direction and your loved one are pulling you in another. He understands and celebrates my work but when he said “You can’t be this great of a person and not expect me to have a hard time sharing you” something clicked for me.

I realized that we had to establish protocol. We needed some sort of guide to follow when I got super busy and he got super lonely. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate his honesty and vulnerability. Most guys I’ve been with had a TERRIBLE time expressing their feelings and that shit can be whole different battle on top of the conflict at hand. (Been there, done that!)

We decided that our protocol would be this:

  • Solo travel trips cannot exceed 4 consecutive days; if  it does, both parties have to agree on it.
  • When either of us travel, we bring the other if possible.
  • Before long heavy travel periods, we have a “pep talk”. We discuss the upcoming trips thoroughly, making sure each of us are fully aware of what the plan is. Gotta be on the same page!
  • During those trips when I’m away and he expresses that he misses me, I acknowledge his feelings and we move on quickly. (Sometimes the “missing” would trigger a fight for us. We’ve decided that communicating before hand helps avoid the argument because it’s not a matter of debating the option to “go home” or “stay” or changing course, but that we’ve committed to the choice we made from jump to be OKAY with the trip. This is why the pep talk is CRUCIAL for us.)

 

 

 

 
 
 
 
 
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If you find yourself and bae hitting the same arguments over and over, take a moment to find the root of the problem. Be HONEST about how you feel from a place of vulnerability rather than trying to control the other person or be “right”.

Take a hike…(LOL)…with your bae. Do something where you can reconnect with nature and BREATHE, together. A couple hours on a weekend to show your boo thang that they are a priority will do wonders for your relationship. (PS, hiking is also FREE LOL)

Xo, Jade

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